The divorce process itself can be riddled with conflict. After all, you and your spouse will have to figure out how to navigate complex legal issues, such as the division of marital property and any request for alimony. But the tension can bleed out of the legal arena and infect your personal family life. Your children may feel caught up in the middle of it all, and your parents and siblings could each have their own ideas about what you should do and how you should handle the issues confronting you. All this pressure can weigh on you, leading to stress and anxiety that blankets your future in uncertainty. Fortunately, there are some steps you can take to reduce conflict in your family during divorce.
Tips for reducing familial conflict during divorce
There are a lot of different ways to approach your divorce and its collateral ramifications. The specific approach that’s best for you will depend on several factors and the unique facts at hand in your case. However, there are some concrete steps you can take to try to immediately tamp down any rising conflicts within your family. These include:
- Avoiding knee-jerk reactions: There’s a good chance that your spouse or someone close to you will say something during the divorce process that strikes a nerve. While your immediate reaction may be to lash out at them or strike back with a quick quip, doing so may stoke the flames and lead to more conflict. Therefore, it’s better to take a minute to breathe, reflect and formulate a meaningful response that isn’t inciteful. You may find that this greatly reduces the amount of conflict that you’re facing, and it could lead to more positive resolution in your divorce case.
- Developing a positive co-parenting relationship: You and your spouse are both going to be parents to your children even after your marriage comes to an end. And chances are that your children love both of their parents. So, instead of using your children to get back at your former spouse, which can be harmful to your children and fuel the engine of conflict, look for ways to work together with your former spouse for the betterment of your children. This means finding consistency in household rules, bedtimes and discipline, while figuring out how to be flexible yet respectful when schedules need to change.
- Finding ways to work collaboratively: While you and your spouse will have to work collaboratively to create an effective co-parenting relationship, there are other aspects of your divorce that could benefit from teaming up to find mutually beneficial outcomes. For example, when discussing property division, consider what each of you really needs to get by and what sort or resolution is fair. If there’s an asset that’s really important to your spouse, then consider whether you can give it up in exchange for something that’s important to you. If you can find a collaborative way to work through these issues, then you’ll reduce conflict and find a positive outcome.
- Keeping your children and other family members out of it: While you can find support from your loved ones, you should be careful with what you discuss with them, especially if you’re afraid that it’ll lead to conflict. And you should always keep your children out of the mix. Don’t use them as messengers, and don’t talk poorly about the other parent while in their presence. This will reduce tension.
Find a divorce legal strategy that’s right for you
There are several ways to approach your divorce. You have to find the one that’s right for you, which may involve reducing conflict while still aggressively protecting your interests. Your attorney can help you do that, which is why now is the time to work with whoever you need to craft the persuasive legal strategy that gets you to where you want to be.